Cup o’ Christ

Holiday_Beverages_2018
© Starbucks

Starbucks holiday cups have arrived! And I’m sure there are people complaining that they’re not Christmas-y enough.

I’ve meditated about this, and I thought I heard a thought, from whence I know not:

And Jesus said, “Let My people have their festive cups, and may they runeth over. And, if they make one in My image, to celebrate My birthday, let the image be a hologram in which My beard appears / disappears with the heat of the blessed coffee.”

Posted in Random Thoughts Thursday

Random Thoughts Thursday: Mermaids, Motivation, and Maladies

They’re Random! They’re Thoughts! It’s Thursday!

This week: Mermaids, Motivation, and Maladies

* I bought an iced tea at Starbucks and thought someone had sprayed whipped cream nearby and it splattered on my cup.

* It’s snow around the mermaid thingy… discovered after I tried to wipe it off.

* I saw some cold cups online that have snowflakes. If mine did, I wouldn’t have tried to wipe them off.

* It looks a little like foam that stuck to the glass above as I drank my delicious tea down to the very last drop. See?

Starbucks Iced Tea Cup

* Why don’t they just put a Santa hat on the mermaid?

* (Ignoring ridiculous red cup controversy.)

* If you ever need motivation to work out or at the very least catch up on your eyebrow plucking, accidentally turn on your laptop camera. I’ve seen myself in funhouse mirrors that didn’t make me look that bad.

* Does this laptop make me look fat?

* Can someone follow me around with just the exact amount and color of light, by the way? That would help immensely.

* Yellow-ish light bulbs suck. See Starbucks cup photo taken in my office space: that’s not the tea giving off a yellow glow.

* In the laptop cam, I looked like I have jaundice.

* Hey! Can I take a sick day?

* Wait, I work for myself. Well, at least my boss will let me off easy.

To the weekend!

Posted in Random Thoughts Thursday

RTT: The Long and the Short of It

They’re Random! They’re Thoughts! It’s Thursday!

This week: The Long and the Short of It

  • I didn’t post on Tuesday because I had been outside a lot of the day and the heat and humidity cause such malaise…
  • Fried brain = thinking in short bursts, not actual sentences.
  • I stayed in air conditioning since then and I feel so much better! *type type type*
  • I put those teeny Dixie cups in my bathroom, to rinse my mouth after brushing my teeth.
  • They caught my eye as I cupped water in my hand and brought it to my mouth, per usual.
  • One habit I did break recently was checking and using Facebook — for more than a month now, I’m FB free!
  • Ballpark: how many cat photos have I missed?
  • Thinking of mixing it up by taking my laptop to a coffee shop or the library.
  • I won’t melt going from the house to the car to the building door, right?
  • This last week of July feels like it’s about a month long.
  • Speaking of the interminable, if you ever want to feel like time isn’t flying, watch True Detective, season 2.

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  • Speaking of long, the last two books I read were more than 400 pages each.
  • I have 11 library books to read after those, but I’m looking for a leaflet at this point.
  • Leaf… I said leaf… fall… autumn…… …… I can’t wait for you to come back!
  • You, too, peeps… for more blogging next week.
  • Peace out, yo.
Posted in Randomy Goodness

Do I need to RSVP?

 

One of my favorite things about me: I’m usually late to popular parties. I saw Forrest Gump more than a year after it came out. I didn’t start going to Starbucks until a few years ago (for tea, too, not coffee). And right now, I’m rockin’ Take Me to Church and Chandelier, songs that have been out, like, forever.

I can’t even say it’s fashionably late. The rest of the world has moved on and then here I come a-runnin’ in when the party’s over.

Yes, I heard the church song in one ear when it came out, but it just didn’t grab my attention. And yes, I know of the Chandelier video and the fact that the uber-talented wee one from the dreadful Dance Moms is in it. I saw it. Didn’t really listen to the song, until the past week or so, and BOOM! It’s on repeat for a week.

I never pass on the virus of viral videos. I don’t do trendy bucket challenges or read the latest horrible book that has gotten published and everybody’s reading because the repressed Puritan nature of our country’s founding means if people think sex is included, especially in some taboo or kinky fashion, they can’t wait to get their hands on it.

I don’t do it on purpose (well, the not reading that horrible book, I did, but most other “popular” things, I don’t). Things that interest the masses just never seem to interest me. Sometimes, I come to them later, like with Chandelier and Take Me to Church. Most times, I don’t (see: most viral videos). I don’t know why I am this way. But I kind of like that I am.

Of course, I did get on the bandwagon early — had a seat up front, in fact — for True Detective. I even got other people to watch it — that’s right, I was a trendsetter! Early to the party and invited others! Even though that ended up being a bit of a phenomenon, I’m not sure it rises to the level of viral cat videos in popularity, though. So I’m not sure that counts.

I like weird things, it seems, not so much what’s in the mainstream. Sometimes, what’s in the mainstream finally catches my eyes and ears, but apparently, only after you people are done with it or have moved on to the next one. I may be a step (or a year) behind, but it’s way less crowded that way, which I love. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be so far behind, it’ll look like I’m at the beginning and y’all will try to catch up with me.

 

In case you’re even further behind than I am, here are the videos for Take Me to Church and Chandelier. You’re welcome.

I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
~ Sia


Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
~Hozier

Posted in Random Thoughts Thursday

Random Thoughts Thursday: Cross-Stitch and a Hitch in my Giddy-up

  •  I fell down, go boom.
  • There’s a hole where part of my knee used to be.
  • At the hospital, I became part of a human cross-stitch project.
  • Should have had her stitch “Tara’s Boo Boo.”
  • My knee is immobilized. I now walk like a pirate with a peg leg.
  • Argh.
  • (Free) tea and sympathy (from my Starbucks peeps) really does help!
  • I made the P.A. laugh when I said this injury would really put a cramp in my ballroom dancing career.
  • I can’t boogie daily as I like to. The singing has gotten significantly louder to make up for that.
  • Sure, the truth is “clumsy girl with hands full of Starbucks and Arby’s falls.” I’m telling people I was chasing John Cusack and fell just short of tackling him.
Posted in Brief Epistles, Random Thoughts Thursday

Random Thoughts Thursday: Brief Epistles

  • Dear Angelina:

You deserved that Oscar(tm) nomination for the abomination that is Changeling. You delivered the same line or slight variations with so many different emotions. “That isn’t my son. Where is my son? Did you kill my son? That isn’t my Walter. Where’s my son?” You still look a bit like an alien to me, but that’s cool.

Sincerely,
She who loves your performance in “Girl, Interrupted” the most

 

  • Dear Clint Eastwood:

Please stop with the black and blue in your films. For instance, the black umbrellas and blue-ish gray lighting in Changeling. … Mystic River, Million Dollar Baby… Stop doing the same thing over and over again. Wait, isn’t insanity doing the same thing over and expecting a different result? Note to self: stop watching Clint Eastwood-directed movies — you don’t like them.

Sincerely,
She who is awakened to the obvious

 

  • Dear Brothers and Sisters:

I gave up on you a couple of seasons ago when you got silly and soapy. I came back this year when it seemed you were growing up and being a good show again. Then, you reverted to your soapy, silly behavior. I’m breaking up with you again.

Sincerely,
She who knows exs are exs for a reason

 

  • Dear Starbucks,

Thank you for creating the tumbler that looks like a venti cup, complete with green straw. I *heart* you.

Sincerely,
Venti sweetened black iced tea addict #4,092,002

 

  • Dear Tiny Older Man at the bar at Starbucks:

Thanks for chuckling listening to dating stories between her and me.

“He asked me to! On our second date,” she said.

“You know, you have to wade through a lot of duds to find the good one,” I said. “Needles in a haystack, my friend. Needles. In. A. Haystack.”

Sincerely,
She who loves an audience

 

  • Dear Alex Trebek:

Stop acting like you don’t have the answers right in front of you when a contestant gets one wrong, like you knew and that idiot didn’t.

Sincerely,
She who wishes “Shakespeare” was a category every night

 

  • Dear Allergies,

Feck off, eh?

Sincerely,
Achoo, sorry, me

Posted in Randomy Goodness

Not So Taxing

“Hello, thank you for calling America’s Most Convenient Bank. I’m Lazy Male Worker Who Can’t Find His Ass with Both Hands, how can I help you?”

I explained my dilemma: procrastination + lack of box organization = missing check information (I’m starting to sound like Jesse Jackson here) for my taxes. Oh, and the checks are from a closed account. Can you help me find the number and the amount? All I have are the dates they were written.

And then he let out a big. effing. sigh.

Scan. Scan. He mumbled to himself, sounding a lot like Michel from Gilmore Girls when he complains, er, breathes.

“I don’t see anything,” he said.

“I know I wrote those checks,” I insisted.

“They’re not here,” he said. “I see Starbucks. Chick-fil-a.”

“Those are debit purchases. Are you looking at the checks, you know, with the numbers and routing numbers, etc.?”

“Yes,” he said, as if he wasn’t the idiot I took him for. “They’re not here.”

I hung up with him and called back.

“Hello, I’m the Most Pleasant Woman Ever. How may I help you?”

Situation explained again.

“You know, I would have called, too. Why tear through those boxes? Hold on.”

She took about three minutes to find all three checks, their numbers and the amounts. Interesting, since they weren’t there a few minutes ago. Uh, yeah. While she searched, we chatted.

“Oh, I know how much moving stinks and you can’t find everything,” she said. “Worse than that, my fiance is a nut, from being in the military a long time — if my shoes aren’t by the door, the house is cluttered.”

“I knew people like that,” I said, leaving out the part about how I no longer associated with those, as Ferris Bueller so eloquently put it, who can put a lump of coal where the sun don’t shine and in two weeks they’d have a diamond. “Well, as long as he doesn’t do the white glove thing.”

She sighed. Not sure if that meant he did or not. After she gave me my info, I said, “You saved my life.”

“I’m glad.”

“Take the rest of the night off.”

“I wish. If you’d like to pay me, I’d be more than happy to,” she said.

“I totally would,” I said, ” but I have to pay my taxes.”

Somehow, I think paying her would be money better spent.