Though susceptible to emarketing, I still receive email from the Philadelphia outlet that hosts Broadway tours because if I ever set foot in New York City again, I’ll be the most surprised person out of anyone.  In these emails, I expect to see notices of other upcoming shows. What I don’t expect is hyperbole to the point that I almost spit out my drink whilst reading the screen:

Rob Lowe: Hollywood actor and screen legend.

Oh, take a seat. This is going to take a few…

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“I wanna get hurt!”

Corey: The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don’t be a guy.

It’s been 25 years (anniversary officially yesterday) since Say Anything was released and it still makes my prestigious Top 10 Movies of All Time list.

‘Twas not my first introduction to the uber-adorable and talented John Cusack. Nay. I loved him since this moment in Sixteen Candles:

Then, I loved him and wished I could travel cross-country by train to visit my Depression-era father in Washington state, too:

Then, a few years later, I walked the aisles of the video store and saw his cute face on the box that held the VHS tape of Say Anything (if any of that confused you youngins, use the google). I fell head over heels with him and Lloyd Dobler.

Sure, John Cusack hasn’t made what I would consider a really good movie in about a decade. But the movies he made in the 80s, 90s, and early aughts make up for that. I gave him my heart and he gave me many great performances and happy memories (and yes, that waaaaaay beats a pen).

I can’t believe it’s been 25 years of admiration (read: longing and giddy fandom). I so love Say Anything that I was going to watch it (on DVD!) with a man I was dating back in the day (as the kids say). Not long after it started, he decided to Mystery Science Theater 3000 it — he was trying for hilarity and actually made fun of this Most Awesome Flick when he should have just shut his trap and took notes from the master. So I turned it off (and shortly thereafter said goodbye to the guy).

I can’t have nobody talking bad about Lloyd Dobler.

Happy Anniversary, Say Anything!

Diane Court: Nobody thinks it will work, do they?
Lloyd Dobler: No. You just described every great success story.

Not 24 More Minutes

Maybe it’s because my faux boyfriend, John Cusack, has been on my mind a LOT lately.

Maybe it’s because it was just never right from the start.

Who knows, Kiefer. But, I’m afraid… I have to break up with you. I know, I know. I’m hot. You’re hot. It should work. But…

You know that whispering thing you do into the phone all the time while calling CTU? It was cute before, but now… it Grates. My. Last. Nerve. And the killing and torture? You used to do it only when necessary, a reluctant soldier, a struggling hero. Now, you’re just showing off. Do we have a Napoleon complex now? I always liked your short legs and your not wearing high heels like Prince and that couch-jumper guy. You made up for your teeny-ness with bravado and compassion for those you love.

But now… you’re just a tiny man running (scurrying?) around like a chicken with his head cut off, never eating, never sleeping, never using the bathroom, trying to single-handedly save the world, again and again.

Ohhhhhhh. Martyr complex. I know a few too many of those already, sweets. They’re hard to be around. And honey, there isn’t a cross big enough for you at this point.

And the pining. Ugh. I know I have a thing for Johnny C., but that’s fantasy. You and this Audrey chick, and that blue-eyed woman who has apparently disappeared off the face of the earth (and I know that’s your baby, her 12-year-old son!). With you it’s always work, work, work, or Audrey, Audrey, Mr. President. You sure do call that mister mister a lot. … Just very patriotic, I guess.


I miss the man bag.

I miss the you who cried at the end of the one horrible day because it was hard being you. Now, it seems easy. And that’s… creepy.

Besides, you’re totally phoning it in now. You have the same glazed-over look in your eye that I do…

I used to miss you the other 28 weeks of the year, but now I’m thinking, “Hey, I gots some “me” time coming!” *sigh* I guess it just wasn’t meant to last. But we had five good years together. Or is that five good days? Either way, you’re still a hottie, and still my favorite Young Gun and teen vampire Lost Boy. But we’re not running out of time, anymore.

It’s over.

Let the silent clock tick for us…