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Zen and the art of retrograde

I have been reading metaphysical material since I was a teenager. I have let the zen wash over me so many times. In fact, when a deer took off the front of my brand new car — a car that had only been mine for 2 months — my first thought wasn’t my new car! It was it could have come through the windshield so I’m safe followed quickly by poor deer — I’m sorry I probably killed you.

These days, though, in spite of years of zen training, I’m a cell phone with just half a bar left. I keep recharging, but those who deplete (simply by existing?) keep ramping up their game. I try to zen more, but I’m a person, people. I. Am. Struggling. I’m also giggling like The Joker from time to time, for the ridiculousness of it all.

Some say it’s because Mercury was (is still) in retrograde (communication is more difficult and job suckitude increases… CONFIRMED). All I know is, I’m in deep shit once this stuff starts coming out my mouth if the zen doesn’t kick into an even higher gear. Deep breaths? To the point I can let out a breath that lasts about 10 minutes…

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