Tar-ona Update Numero Uno

I’m blogging. It’s not like I have a ton of things I have to do besides that right now, eh?

smilie-4881520_640Today, Governor Wolf (who I call Governor Woof because the ‘l’ doesn’t always make it into his name when I say it for some reason so I just delete it ahead of time)… anyway, Mr. Woof told me to stay home for two more weeks to help stop the spread of COVID-19 (the novel coronavirus). Dude… way ahead of you. I had three weeks or so of pantry deliciousness already purchased (I did add to that a bit today in advance of your announcement). I’m so happy, though, because now I know for sure that March will be my Emily Dickinson phase of this year (government ordered!).

This information, + my preparedness = I think I’ll actually now be able to enjoy the downtime somewhat — helping others by slothing! (Making lemons out of lemonade, as it were…)

I know we’ve been staying at home for about a week or so already, but who could relax? There was prepping (which for me started in February, thanks to The Washington Post reporting), shopping, washing my hands, putting lovely smelling lotion on my hands after washing, practicing not touching my face (SO HARD! but now I’m good at it), reading about what was happening (which was especially stressful prior to any *official* action taking place). Throughout that time, I also had to try diligently not to smack people in my world (including a doctor!) who (a) downplayed the whole thing and/or (b) mocked me for taking it seriously at the beginning of March (oh, who am I kidding, mid- to late-February). Don’t ever doubt this well-read journalistically-trained MacGyver, and hands off my toilet paper, you non-prepper fact-challenged misanthropic meanies.

Look out, library book pile, all of which is now not due back until at least April 13 (even the book that was due last week!). I’m going to read ALL of you! Who wants an Oreo? I have a box of individual cookie snack packs and I’m happy to share… I’ll drive by and chuck it at your house from the curb.

Things to track during the next two weeks:

  • How many days will the snowman pajama pants be worn? So far: 2
  • How many books will be read? So far: 0
  • How many bottles of water can I drink each day? So far: 6 (8 oz each). Math: bottles of water divided by trips to the bathroom equals how much toilet paper do I have left?

For your viewing pleasure, a song by national treasure Randy Rainbow, in which he politely tells the kids to stop going out:

11 thoughts on “Tar-ona Update Numero Uno

  1. I was semi-prepared. Like you, I saw this coming way back in February (which seems like a lifetime ago!!). People didn’t take me seriously, either. However. As I watch our fresh food (eggs, cheese, veggies) dwindle, and I try to figure out how we’re going to replenish without being exposed, I’m in a state of semi-anxiety over it all. The Evil Empire (Walmart) is the only place around here that has curbside pickup. When I checked on things like eggs and cheese, I got the red OUT OF STOCK message. Makes me wish we’d gotten some chickens to put in that coop that came with the house and property. Ah well. We’ll survive without those things (but man, am I craving cheese and potato chips and chocolate!!!). Stay well, Tara, and enjoy your Emily Dickinson phase while it lasts. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am making a weekly or so run to the grocery, usually about 20 minutes before they close, but only the produce and dairy aisles and self-checkout. So far, so good. As for cheese, I contemplated that beforehand and bought four blocks of Kraft cheddar. However, I did NOT anticipate my chips dwindling and therefore I now have none. I am not doing inner aisles so I have some value packs that I grabbed two weeks ago and that’s it until this is over. Bonus: I’ve lost 5 pounds.

      I tried to find an online salad delivery place, but none deliver to my area. I’m sorry that The Evil Empire is the only place near you with curbside pickup! If I was close, I’d run and get you some fresh things!

      Liked by 1 person

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