These are dangerous times, my friends. The word dam that filters what I’m thinking and keeps it from actually coming out of my mouth has sprung a few leaks of late. I can’t help it — I hold stuff in until it has nowhere else to go but out, and often unexpectedly, even to me.
The fact that I’ve been binge-watching shows that often feature sarcasm, because OF COURSE I would find that amusing, probably isn’t helping.
Case in point: last week, I immediately thought of a quote from Veep after I answered a (stupid) question. The quote, by Richard Splett, assistant to Selina Meyer: “You know, I’m saying all of this out loud, and I probably shouldn’t be.”
AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION
The Powers That Be, walking in the door: “Do you have a ChapStick?”
“No,” I said. Then, without warning, “Well, no, and if I did, it would be mine, which would mean it was open and used, which would mean you couldn’t use it, so I would have to have an unopened, unused ChapStick on me. So do I have an unopened, unused ChapStick on me? Well, the answer to that would be no.”
…
I’d say it’d be wise if my ChapStick were made of SuperGlue, but who am I kidding? Stupid question gets a stupid answer.
Honestly, who the hell borrows ChapStick?
But yeah, maybe a simple “no” would have sufficed in this case 😉
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I know, RIGHT?
Does not compute. Does not compute. Does not compute.
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Right!
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T,
Who shares Chapstick? What in the blessed hell are these people thinking and what planet are they coming from?
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I’m at a loss. I head-shake so much, I have the fittest neck in all the land! That’s why the dam keeps leaking… so much coming at me that’s SO STUPID, I can’t possible be expected to keep it all inside!!
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No you can’t, and you shouldn’t. It’s dangerous when you bottle all those thoughts.
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True dat. Word up. Exactly.
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If you share Chapstick, you don’t deserve your lips.
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*picturing him lipless*… …. … bwahahahahaha
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Hey, I just came up with a tag line for Chapstick “Our lips are healed”.
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Someone pay the man!
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Boom! LOL
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*singing The Go-Gos now, quite happily so*
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Good song!
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Those gals didn’t write a bad one!
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They really didn’t.
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Is Chapstick not sexist nowadays?
Should we have a Chapessstick, or chappettestick? *
By now, all non British will be thinking “Who is this idiot”. Tara, of course, will be saying it out loud!
*chap is a slang word for “man”
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Hmmm. I hadn’t thought of that, Peter. I bet the makers of ChapStick didn’t think of that, just about chapped lips. Isn’t it funny how things mean different things in various parts of the world? Like the V sign with two fingers here means victory. I believe it means something else entirely elsewhere.
Thank all non-British for thinking WHO IS THIS IDIOT? See, now you’ve got me all proud: I’m saying it out loud for all those who can’t or won’t but want to! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! 🙂
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BAHAHA! Oh that’s good though. SO bad it’s good 🙂
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Tara – I like the way the title tied into the “lip service” chapstick topic
– and ewww –
We sure don’t share chapsticks
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Thanks much, Yvette. And EWWWWW times infinity. Glad you agree!!!
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😊
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And PS
You are cool
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Awww. Fenks.
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