Posted in Randomy Goodness

Zen and the art of retrograde

I have been reading metaphysical material since I was a teenager. I have let the zen wash over me so many times. In fact, when a deer took off the front of my brand new car — a car that had only been mine for 2 months — my first thought wasn’t my new car! It was it could have come through the windshield so I’m safe followed quickly by poor deer — I’m sorry I probably killed you.

These days, though, in spite of years of zen training, I’m a cell phone with just half a bar left. I keep recharging, but those who deplete (simply by existing?) keep ramping up their game. I try to zen more, but I’m a person, people. I. Am. Struggling. I’m also giggling like The Joker from time to time, for the ridiculousness of it all.

Some say it’s because Mercury was (is still) in retrograde (communication is more difficult and job suckitude increases… CONFIRMED). All I know is, I’m in deep shit once this stuff starts coming out my mouth if the zen doesn’t kick into an even higher gear. Deep breaths? To the point I can let out a breath that lasts about 10 minutes…

Artist interpretation of my goal. Thx, Pixabay!

Examples from this week alone:

Several people: “Ask Tara.” Note to all: Just because Tara is competent and also has a habit of MacGyver-ing through situations she’s not familiar with does not mean that Tara is the only who can and will do things. Tara knows she has said this recently. Does Tara have to tattoo it on her forehead?

One self-aware yet annoying person: “My personality is to nitpick.” Kudos on the self-awareness, but I’m afraid your unwillingness to just espouse this, instead of changing it, makes you an asshole. I haven’t told you that, because my personality is to not be a jerk to people (at least not until I simply can’t take it anymore…). Twas your first offense, too, and so many came before you (actually two or three of the same people, over and over… and over) so I’ll try not to tell you ever… ya know, unless you keep it up.

Me to a person filling in for me so I can have a single blessed day off: “To use the scanner, put the paper in face down, top down.” The scans that were done were face up, top up. To quote the millennials: I can’t even. My verbiage didn’t help. The photo of the scanner I found online showing paper in the scanner in the correct direction — which I left in my 15-page “How To Fill In For Me and Not Fuck It Up” guide — didn’t help. The tiny graphic on the scanner — the same graphic on every professional-use scanner and printer I’ve ever seen in an office — depicting a page with an edge folded back with the edge folded back part with lines on it INDICATING FACE-EFFING-DOWN didn’t help. *face palm… the other person* That’s OK. I don’t have a million other things to do. Let me re-scan these 500 pages and basically do all the work from my day off on my first day back. (That’s when The Joker giggling started.)

“Please pick up my daughter at her school, bring her to work for three hours, then take her back to school.” Oh, how to even begin unpacking this gem. Saying please before an unreasonable demand doesn’t make it reasonable. Asking instead of demanding may have improved your chances of success (but probably not). A duty well outside the scope of normal tasks, that takes away time from the work you will then ask why isn’t this done yet, should be avoided, ya know. AND if it were me (or, I argue, most non-self-centered rational people), I would call friends/family first and exhaust that list before I’d ever ask someone who worked for me to do my personal crap. Actually, I’d just rent a car and not bother anybody. Forget whether or not it’s someone I would go above and beyond for (GUESS!). I won’t accept the responsibility of having your children in my car if something bad happens. Didn’t think of THAT, did you? (Of course not.) Do you know what you pay me? I can’t afford a disaster like that.

Mercury’s retrograde ends on March 28. Looking into my crystal ball, though, I don’t see an end to much of this nonsense, because it’s all The People and a few of these particular people are not aware (or don’t care) how they act towards others.

Changes are coming, but they can’t officially go into effect for some time yet. The only solution for now then is to up my zen game (again).

*Le sigh*

(And that’s a sigh with an exhale that could for at least a day power a small town in Denmark.)


I'm a writer who loves to laugh and smile. :-)

14 thoughts on “Zen and the art of retrograde

  1. There are days like that – ok, there are weeks like that!!
    That being efficient and the one who figures out how to do things is a double-edged sword. I know. It was Dale, Dale, Dale when I worked in an office… sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to hear that was you, too. It’s really annoying.

      The other examples, esp. the unreasonable demands, etc., are me bumping into no boundaries people. I’m consistently having to reset my boundaries as they consistently try to break through them. OLLY OLLY OH NO YOU DIDN’T!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We kind of do it to ourselves, though. There is that small part that likes to be indispensable… until we tire of it, but then it is too late! Our name has been made.

        Yeah. No. That is definitely a boundary to NOT cross. And you do bring up a most valid point. That is a huge responsibility to schlep the boss’ kids around.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I brought it on myself in the past. But I haven’t done that for years. I so can’t help if people see my awesome and want to take advantage of it! Even on my slowest day, I’m still most awesome (it’s ain’t bragging if it’s true! — I am good at my job). 🙂

          Glad you agree. It’s nice to hear from other sane people!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. “…people are not aware (or don’t care) how they act towards others.”

    No truer words. Therein the the crux of most of my miscommunication problems. Not me being unaware or uncaring, but they are. And what’s a woman to do? Tell them to grow up and get a clue? I mean they need to, but I’m a nobody telling them what they don’t want to hear. Good times.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good times indeed. Amen, sister. Exhausting! I mean, the Idiot People could take, like two seconds and THINK…. put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How will this come off? What will they think? How I would I respond if someone asked/did this to me? Of course, usually these people are the center of the universe (in their minds only, I’m afraid). Le Sigh times a million.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. T-Siz,

    Holy Shiraz! I . . . I can’t even. (The Millennials scored a winner with that one).

    The basic tasks some people CANNOT be tasked with become bane of your Task Mistress existence. On TOP of having to do . . oh, everything else. Nah, and no. Both.

    And that whole “Bring Your Boss’s Kid to Work Day” thing? Is out of the lost episodes of The Office. Not as funny . . or ironic. Ugh!

    Sometimes there really isn’t enough Zen, is there?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am highly skilled at nitpicking. I just don’t find it helpful unless I am being paid to nitpick or lice is involved.
    I never balk at errands at work, even ones like those.
    NOW, on the subject of scans, I could write a bleedin freakin essay on WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR YOU PEOPLE!?! Seriously. Some people should not be authorized to touch the machines. They need to find other work.
    Communication was rough there for a while. I felt it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wouldn’t balk (probably) if all else was right with the work world. But it’s not, so I digress.
      Oh, Joey. You’ve brought me such peace with this scan response. The non-machine people should find other work! Of course, that means more work for you and me … …. …
      Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Palpable. I don’t like my vibe when that happens… Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm x infinity.

      Liked by 1 person

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