Such a farce, a tease, a carrot on the end of a stick that was so much further away than I realized. The day I thought I turned a corner, I did — but only to get hit by a second truck I never saw coming. I was better than I had been, but not well. The true meaning of that word wouldn’t arrive in any real way for another five days (read: until today).
I had been zen about being down for the count until the cough got worse and I was on day five of not being able to sleep through the night. Couple that with having to go to work, then have someone there who says YOU got THEM sick then chastise you for not healing as fast as they seem to have (read: they haven’t gotten well, but they’re really good at stifling their cough because they must be right about this for some ridiculous reason) — I had some moments of non-zen-itude. Almost more than being sick, THAT — me no likee.
It went something like this:
Damn you people and your germs! Your coughing without covering your mouths! Your sloppy baby kisses (which I generally refuse — hugs are way less messy (usually)). Your high heat with no humidity because somebody decides short sleeves is good for them while the rest of us DRESS FOR THE SEASON! Your “It’s just a little cold” as your denial infects anyone in your general vicinity. And you non-hand-washers… what, do you think there’s a soap shortage?
I made it to Friday, but I don’t remember much about Wednesday and Thursday other than cough cough cough…. nose blow, blow, blow… repeat. Thursday night was the first night I actually slept almost the whole night. Friday, longer. Then last night, ahhhhhhhhhh. 10 glorious hours, with no wake-up-to-cough intermission. Am I still coughing? Yes. Not nearly as much or as hard. I feel like myself today. FINALLY. Oh, Me. I’ve missed you! I’ve missed you, too, Me.
I’m behind on my blog reading and writing. I caught up the laundry yesterday. I peeled the now-three-week-old, including a week of The Sickness, sheets off the bed, set them aflame, and then put them back on the bed all fresh and new. I have a new toothbrush. And I filled an entire trash bag with tissues — it looked like a snowman blew up into a million little pieces.
I don’t get sick. I blame the people OUT THERE! Unfortunately, though, I’m also Ms. Metaphysical, so… what is this illness trying to teach me? That I need to put hand sanitizer in my nose whenever I venture out into the people-y wilderness? Maybe. There are also lessons about patience and taking better care and more that I’ll have to contemplate as the healing continues. Having had nothing to think about except The Sickness for about a week, I’ll put that thinking aside for now, and focus on The Wellness I’m enjoying more and more of in hopes that it’ll get bigger, and stick around.
The one thing I know for sure right now — the next time I’m sick, I want to be Ferris Bueller sick. Good thing my new year at work starts very soon — paid time off days, I see you. Let’s spend some time together when I’m feeling 100% again.
*And the proper version of the song Mr. Bueller plays: