Wheels down

It’s been almost 9.5 months since I fell down, went boom, broke wrist. The journey back to the rink began today when I purchased my new pair of roller skates.

roller-skates-415389_640The fall wasn’t caused by my lack of skating skills. It was caused by several issues.

First, I was wearing the wrong type of skates. I had derby wheels. That’s what happens when you forget your awesome investigative/purchasing skills and revert to the female family tradition of shopping: “Oooh! PRETTY!”

Second, I was attempting (inadvertently) to reenact the experience as it was when I was 12, much lighter, more agile, etc., instead of taking my time and doing it with a walker as my age now dictates I must. (This was buoyed by my smooth experience the previous week.)

Third, much too far from the rink’s Edge of Safety, as I called it, I turned around whilst standing on wheels after two boys flew by, instead of just standing still and letting them pass fully without worrying what else was happening around me… like when bees approach. Then I started to skate without fully turning back around, which left me slightly (read: completely) out of balance, which made me want to break, and by break I mean hit the wall and regroup. Then I saw two little girls standing at the wall EXACTLY where I was going to break my skate/fall. Not wanting to hit them, I then panicked and did some sort of wheely interpretive dance, which included arms doing the backstroke, sans pool, with opposite leg accompaniment — left arm up with right foot wheels scraping the floor, then right arm up with left foot wheels repeat. The third time (back to left arm/right foot) was the last. Then my left foot went up and kicked my right leg hard enough to leave a four-inch purple wheel-shaped bruise on my inner calf for a week. My body leaned to the left (as it always does for some reason when I fall — all scars and injuries are on my left side). Then I was down. CRACK! OWWWWWW.

Why would I get on skates again?

This, my friends, is the wrong question. The correct question: Why WOULDN’T I get on skates again?

When I tripped over a slightly raised piece of sidewalk, then turned to inspect what tried to do me in, and laughed at it, did I stop walking on pavement? NO.

When a phone-obsessed teen slammed into my bumper in the Chick-fil-a drive-through, from a completely stationary position, did I stop using the drive-through and/or eating chicken nuggets? NO.

When I hyper-extended my knee whilst stretching as I awoke one morning, leaving me to limp and take it easy for more than a week, did I stop SLEEPING? NO!

Life has its challenges. It can be risky. It can lead to injury, especially if we do risky things — like eating something chewy and then BAM! You bite your tongue and/or cheek! So why not enjoy the full journey, even if that journey again leads to an emergency room?

You’re concerned. I appreciate that. You are not alone.

I spent much of the past week purchasing many items online (it’s my in-the-heat cardio) with the same credit card. I booked hotel reservations. I bought books and music and a variety of other things. I subscribed to magazines I won’t have time to read. It’s my time of year to spend hundreds of my saved-up dollars at I can’t tell you how many different online retailers and for an upcoming getaway.

After all that spending, it was only today that I received a cautionary text message: (Paraphrase) This is your credit card company. Did you just make this purchase? Roller Skates. $56.23.

… … …

The universe is amusing.

The trip to the rink is several months away, but the skates were on sale today. I’ll take the difference and put it in my health savings account, ya know, just in case. Meanwhile, I’m at work (paper cuts!), then headed to a drive-through (traffic!) for lunch (chewing!), then back to work (traffic part deux), and then home (cement steps! wood steps! carpeted steps! the STOVE!), where there will be sitting, stretching, bathing (for the love of all things good, not the slippery bathroom!).

I’ll be careful. I promise.

18 thoughts on “Wheels down

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