The Fight to Remain Silent

There is a battle being waged, my friends, and it’s all in my head. Do I write something or stay silent?

You may have noticed (or not) that I haven’t posted much since the Blogging A to Z Challenge ended. A post a week, maybe two (once). Let’s explore why that might be.

Disclaimer: What follows is an unscientific study conducted by me, on one subject, also me.

square1After the blogging challenge, was my brain worn out? Not really, at least I don’t think so. The challenge wasn’t taxing as I did most posts in advance and I picked a theme I liked. The most time-consuming part was getting sucked into a YouTube wormhole — I’d find the video I wanted to use, then click another, then another, then four hours later, I’m still writing my ‘G’ post. But looking at all those videos was invigorating and also a welcome escape. Still, similarly, after I completed my #365Project on Instagram, I didn’t post photos for a time either. Lengthy creative project then a break. Coincidence?

It could be the must factor: because I had to do something every day and then I didn’t, that’s why I took a break?

Potential factor: things just aren’t that interesting right now. Nah, in a former life, I made a career of writing columns about mundane things. That’s not it.

The Muse Factor: perhaps she’s working on enough things that my brain power and energy is reserved for that and so when I think, “I should blog that,” she says, “Meh. I’m busy, even though you and I aren’t always typing. Let’s just binge-watch Cobra Kai.” (Which we did.)

Sub-factor — The Karate Kid factor: Do I just need to find more balance in my life, like Daniel-san? Or perhaps just a bonsai tree to spruce up the place and give me portable nature (which is restorative)?

Multi-mind factor: In addition to Muse hogging a large portion of my brain, other parts of my mind have been on other things:

  • What is that creaking noise in my neck and is it caused by my cell phone scrolling posture or the new firm pillow?
  • What is the ache in my arm (the non-formerly-broken one) and could it simply be that I work too continuously and need to take frequent breaks during which I stop typing/mousing and actually get up and walk around?
  • Why, when I set mini-alarms for mini-breaks during my day do I acknowledge I heard it, tap the phone to turn it off, then NOT actually take a break?
  • Why, when someone starts running around like a chicken with its head cut off, all super busy yet sound and fury signifying nothing, does that energy try to infiltrate me and make me do/go/work at the same pace? And why must I struggle to combat it, reminding myself to not let that energy in, to take one thing at a time and take time to point and laugh at the headless chicken thinking haste won’t make waste (which it does… mistakes, solutions in hand but unread, etc.)?

The Julie McCoy factor: I can’t even begin to describe, too, the amount of energy needed to flip back and forth between American Idol (so campy and awful!) and The Voice (the clear winner of most awesome vocal contest show). Why must shows I want to watch be on at the same time? This endeavor makes me think cruise director Julie McCoy was probably happy she was on The Love Boat, always on vacation, because being the entertainment director of anything is exhausting.

…. …. ….

All this science is making me think maybe brain exercise it the answer! Maybe after the challenge, I wasn’t working my brain enough, ergo it didn’t want to work at all! I mean, scroll up! Look at all those words! Maybe MORE not LESS braining is what was needed to end the battle.

And/or, you know, I just needed a wee break.

Boy, such a typical INFJ, looking for deeper meaning beyond what is.

At least all this analyzing gave my fingers some typing exercise. And a post! That’s two for this week already. Go, me! Go, me!

Apparently, the fight has been won. And I didn’t even have to do the famed crane kick to win.

12 thoughts on “The Fight to Remain Silent

  1. Tara,

    What evil scientist decided that the Voice and Idol should be on at the same time? I am miffed, and I don’t even watch these shows!

    Breaks happen for a variety of reasons. There’s not having enough time in a day, wanting more space for a quick mental nap . .

    Back? You never left. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re a mind reader or my separated at birth twin. Never has the expression “my thoughts exactly” been more accurate. Different answers perhaps but to the same questions. I’m just wondering if I’ll ever get my mojo back. Or did I even ever have mojo to begin with? 😂


    • J-Dub, I’ve been known to read minds. Perhaps we’re on the same wavelength. Either way, I’m glad that you connect to my words here.

      Perhaps your mojo just hit ‘pause’ for the time being.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I believe there is an ebb and flow to blogging– and to thwart that process is to end up in the wrong place. The ideas will come again, the words will manifest when you’re ready to write them. The trick to all of this is to trust yourself to post when you can, write what you want, then go outside and live a little sans bloggy-ness. Feeling rather zen today, can you tell?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lol! I look for deeper meaning in mundane things, too. Blogging seems to be like the tides. High and low. I’ve been on low tide lately, not churning out much. I used to make an effort at it when I traveled, but I can’t seem to be bothered lately.
    I didn’t watch the new American Idol. I’m not sure if I missed something or not. I do love The Voice, but missed the latest season due to too much travel. I often wonder why shows I like to watch end up scheduled for the same time period on the same day, forcing me to make a choice.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Two months later, when I see that my original reply to you never posted, I am again in a bit of a slump. I’m blaming the humidity this time. This is just soooo not my time of year.


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