Posted in Randomy Goodness

No Sugar Coat

I petition whatever court need be contacted to invoke a world-wide rule that one should not accost others with comments or questions before one can remove their coat and sit the hell down.

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Artist rendering of all I wanted to do first thing in the damn day.

It started in the parking lot, the armor of my car no protection. I was being tailgated. I stopped near the parking spot I wanted, with the intention of pulling forward then backing into the spot. As I waited, the tailgater practically attached their car to my tail, then honked, loudly.

Of course, having looked in the rearview, I knew it was someone I knew, who apparently didn’t recogonize me. I waved her around and she pulled into the spot next to the one I would pull forward then back into.

After seeing it was me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was you.”

Me: (thought bubble) So you’d be a jerk to someone you didn’t know, but if it’s me, then you’re sorry?

Her: “I never understood why people back in anyway.” (This is commonly referred to as deflection, as in it’s your fault I was an asshole because you’re doing something I wouldn’t do.)

Me: *restraining from using the finger gesture that comment warranted* “I back in then it’s easier to just pull out of the space.”

Her: “Well, it’s difficult to back in, isn’t it? Six of one…”

Me: *contemplating explaining my years of practice making me an expert; decide against expending precious oxygen and energy on that.* I glance around the room deciding which wall would be best for head-banging.

Me: Still with my coat on, trying to get my coat off and hang it up.

Her: “The plug won’t reach. The typewriter. I don’t know why it was moved. I can’t type.”

Me: “If I could just take my coat off.”

Me: Takes my coat off, hangs it up, does three deep breaths. “We needed the space for other things. We’ll get an extension cord.” A glance to the right… oh, look! An extension cord! I walk to where the typewriter now lives. “Here,” I say, giving it more to the machine than to her.

Me: Sit down, coat-free, finally.  Drink water. Enjoy more deep breaths.

Her: Questions continue, but the voice has turned into Charlie Brown’s teacher because it’s too early for this shit.

Her: “Do you have a minute? I don’t know what this email means.” (email not from me).

Me: ….  *crickets* … eating yogurt… *more crickets* … … “Maybe in a bit.”

Deep breaths are delightful, especially when not wearing your winter coat.

So is Advil.

Things can only go up from here.

Author:

I'm a writer who loves to laugh and smile. :-)

8 thoughts on “No Sugar Coat

  1. I feel your pain. I hate nothing more than coming in to the clinic in the mornings to be stopped *in the hallway on the way to my office* to be asked about patient care. Um.. can I get to my office, take off my coat and put down my purse first? Ugh.

    I back into my parking space also. It is easier to pull out at the end of the day when I am making my mad escape from work hell. I have gotten into the same discussion with a coworker about people who pull in versus people who back in. She argued that backing in makes someone have to wait behind you. I argued that when I leave, I still have to wait on people who back out of their spaces. They start backing out and don’t see me. So, can’t we all just be nonjudgmental parking friends?

    And to your coworker: my kickass backup camera makes backing into my space super easy!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I happy to hear I’m not alone, though sorry to hear you have to deal with this, too. Some people… …. … I don’t have the fancy camera doohickey, but I can see how that would be cool and make it even easier to back in!

      Like

    1. There are people, Sascha, who think they are the sun ergo the center of the universe. I shall keep my distance lest I get “burned” on a daily basis… There are ways around this… and I will find them… 🙂

      Like

  2. I’m a creature of habit, so I definitely need a mental reboot when someone harshes my mellow like that. I get all positive and smiley just to ward off evil thoughts and it usually works. Usually

    Go Advil!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dude, my mental reboot took until lunchtime today. I kid you not. So much drama. So much “why don’t you think and do like me?” So much people are a pain in the ass! My smiley-ness took a hit, but it’s coming back. Extra sleep tonight and I’m back to firing on all cylinders. See, this person caught me off-guard. I wasn’t fully aware of the totality of the crazy. But now that I am… I’m good.

      And yes, bless the makers of Advil. Kind souls.

      Liked by 1 person

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