I just put pain-relieving cream on my neck and left shoulder area. I’m an athlete, always moving, who took it too far? Oh, no. I hurt myself by holding a book whilst sitting in my car at the park for a while, followed by an hour-long phone call during which I held the phone’s receiver between my right shoulder and ear, instead of my hand, with my head up straight.
I put pain reliever on my body because of a book, a bucket seat, and an old-school landline phone.
At least this injury took some doing. I remember a few years ago when I pulled a leg muscle stretching before getting out of bed, and the time I worked a temp job that didn’t appreciate employees’ need for a chair with arms and an ergonomic mouse set up, causing legitimate back pain from my arm dangling for hours as I clicked.
This latest “injury,” and I’m using that term loosely, is simply caused by the fact that my muscles and body are no longer easy to abuse (not that this qualifies by any stretch of the imagination — which is stretching I wouldn’t do lest I injure my imagination as well). And why can’t I sit in an uncomfortable position holding a book for hours and cradle a phone receiver with my shoulder? Because I’m no longer a youngin’.
*in my whispy old-timer voice* I remember when I could stay up all night, falling asleep during summer breaks at 6 a.m. and waking at noon feeling refreshed. Now, I’m lucky if I stay awake past 11 on Friday night. Back in the day, I could half-hang off the couch, upsidedown, and read for hours. Now, I need my reading glasses, which I often can’t find, and apparently a back pillow and frequent breaks to rest my eyes, my arms, and my neck. And yeah, it wouldn’t have been an issue had I used my newfangled 21st century cell phone (of course, that will give me brain cancer, but at least my neck wouldn’t hurt, eh). But I like my Princess phone and the landline sounds better (still).
Am I truly old? No. But obviously I’m on my way. How old am I? I’m I pull neck muscles holding a book in my car and a phone with my shoulder old. I’m I have to take antacid before eating (and often the morning after eating) Buffalo chicken wings old. I’m I’m too tired to give a shit about the white hairs I can’t keep up with anymore old. And now I’m I complain about my aches and pains old. Oy with the poodles already!
I’m too young for my AARP card or to start buying that insurance that only covers funerals. But my body’s making me feel like I’m half-dead sometimes. *sigh*
Speaking of time, what time is it? 3:30? Oh, I have to start getting ready for the early bird special at 4. Ooh! Buffalo wings *pops an antacid*