Posted in Randomy Goodness

Pain in the neck

I just put pain-relieving cream on my neck and left shoulder area. I’m an athlete, always moving, who took it too far? Oh, no. I hurt myself by holding a book whilst sitting in my car at the park for a while, followed by an hour-long phone call during which I held the phone’s receiver between my right shoulder and ear, instead of my hand, with my head up straight.

I put pain reliever on my body because of a book, a bucket seat, and an old-school landline phone.

At least this injury took some doing. I remember a few years ago when I pulled a leg muscle stretching before getting out of bed, and the time I worked a temp job that didn’t appreciate employees’ need for a chair with arms and an ergonomic mouse set up, causing legitimate back pain from my arm dangling for hours as I clicked.

This latest “injury,” and I’m using that term loosely, is simply caused by the fact that my muscles and body are no longer easy to abuse (not that this qualifies by any stretch of the imagination — which is stretching I wouldn’t do lest I injure my imagination as well). And why can’t I sit in an uncomfortable position holding a book for hours and cradle a phone receiver with my shoulder? Because I’m no longer a youngin’.

*in my whispy old-timer voice* I remember when I could stay up all night, falling asleep during summer breaks at 6 a.m. and waking at noon feeling refreshed. Now, I’m lucky if I stay awake past 11 on Friday night. Back in the day, I could half-hang off the couch, upsidedown, and read for hours. Now, I need my reading glasses, which I often can’t find, and apparently a back pillow and frequent breaks to rest my eyes, my arms, and my neck. And yeah, it wouldn’t have been an issue had I used my newfangled 21st century cell phone (of course, that will give me brain cancer, but at least my neck wouldn’t hurt, eh). But I like my Princess phone and the landline sounds better (still).

Buffalo Chicken Dip
Cheesy Buffalo chicken dip. Not shown: Antacid.

Am I truly old? No. But obviously I’m on my way. How old am I? I’m I pull neck muscles holding a book in my car and a phone with my shoulder old. I’m I have to take antacid before eating (and often the morning after eating) Buffalo chicken wings old. I’m I’m too tired to give a shit about the white hairs I can’t keep up with anymore old. And now I’m I complain about my aches and pains old. Oy with the poodles already!

I’m too young for my AARP card or to start buying that insurance that only covers funerals. But my body’s making me feel like I’m half-dead sometimes. *sigh*

Speaking of time, what time is it? 3:30? Oh, I have to start getting ready for the early bird special at 4. Ooh! Buffalo wings *pops an antacid*

Author:

I'm a writer who loves to laugh and smile. :-)

4 thoughts on “Pain in the neck

  1. Ha! This is hilarious. Reminds me so fondly of Nora Ephron (particularly her book, “I feel bad about my neck”). She, like you, embraced her daily battles against aging with an out loud boldness and energy that proves you’re still young-at-heart. Love it!

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    1. Why, thank you, Gabe! I admit I’ve not read her books, but I’ve seen several of the movies she wrote and all I can say is… I’m NOT WORTHY! But thanks. Great praise indeed. I’m going to take her books out of the library next, so as to have someone to commiserate with. 🙂

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  2. Ditto what Gabe said. You are on the cusp of old age with the attitude of a young whippersnapper. Hoping your neck and shoulder feel better soon– before something else falls apart.

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    1. Thanks, Ally, for the compliment and the good neck wishes. Of course, as I type this, I’m rocking out to “Baby, I’m A Star” by Prince. Hand motions (no jazz hands), hair swinging, neck twisting. When I got to the part where he says “DOCTOR!” I could totally relate. 🙂 Here’s hoping I can get out of bed tomorrow morning after this workout.

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