I check my face in the visor mirror. Make-up: light and non-smudged. Hair: Smooth and hairsprayed, but non-helmet-y. I smile to perk myself up, as interviews can be taxing and the process, tiring. It’s performance time.
I exit my car and close the door, and attempt to cross the parking lot to enter the building that could be my new employment home. A car approaches as if it wants to park right next to mine (despite the myriad empty parking spaces around). As it slows, then stops, then goes again, I start to cross, then stop, then try to go.
I’m dancing with a sedan. I’m trying not to play a real-life version of Frogger.
The car stops completely and the man inside smiles and waves me over. I smile, wave a ‘thanks’ at him for not killing me, and walk to the other side.
After entering the office that could become mine if all goes well, the front door opens seconds later. I turn and see his face, sans vehicle.
“Hi,” he says while extending a hand, introducing himself. “Sorry I almost ran you over.”
“It’s OK,” I say. “I’m at a lawyer’s office.”
I meet the first interviewer and, after answering a few questions, joke about how I barely survived the walk from the parking lot. She chuckles. Later, while I’m waiting in the lobby near his desk for interviewer number two, she steps into his office and asks, “Do you have that folder, Reckless Driver?”
About an hour later, I say goodbye to the interviewers. As I near the front door, I see Reckless Driver in his office nearby.
“Nice to meet you,” he says. “Be careful out there.”
“Not a problem,” I say. “You’re in here.”
We both laughed.
And the Emmy™ for Best Comedic Performance at a Job Interview goes to:
I’d like to thank the people in that office for having senses of humor, especially Reckless Driver for kicking off this exchange. I had no idea our initial meeting would lead to this. I’d like to thank the makers of Frogger for creating a cute game of death that makes joking like this possible. I’d also like to thank the genius who invented automobile brakes. I’d like to thank my parents for teaching me to look both ways and assume that drivers are not to be trusted. Mostly, I want to thank the comedy gods for blessing me with a quick wit. I truly appreciate my ability to fire off a joke in a split second. I’m always hilariously locked and loaded. Thank you so much!