- Dear Mother Nature:
Please choose. We all have to make decisions. I know it’s difficult, but not as much as carrying around three weights of coats because you can’t make up your mind. Hot or cold. Pick one and stick with it.
I’m too young for your menopausal hot flashes
- Dear Tori:
I admit it. I watched True Tori. My former 90s 90210 devotion demanded it (Donna Martin graduates!). I won’t watch the rest: he calls himself Deano (rhymes with Beano – there’s a joke in there somewhere) and the words he uses the most are me and I. It’s somehow too crappy for crappy reality TV. Good luck. Oh, and don’t forget to buy paper towels.
She who wishes you’d shoot the show in the Peach Pit with the old gang
- Dear Lindsay:
Don’t get cocky — your show is still the rotten orange to Tori’s awful apple. Hey, have you unpacked all the boxes yet?
The woman who wouldn’t try to organize your apartment (or your world) even if you paid me
- Dear Twitter:
I’m sorry I didn’t understand your amaze-itude in its entirety until recently. Your lists are an organizational guru’s dream! Your little hashtag games are so fun. And the conversation (though brief) is #awesome. Thanks!
~She who loves you bunches (until some other techy thing takes over, I’m sure)
- Dear Tumblr:
No. Really. Never.