Daisy Smiley Face

It's my happy place.

My television is off way more than it’s on. I kicked the habit years ago and, for the most part, I don’t miss it. But sometimes, I’ll admit it: I watch crap TV. I never get sucked into a long-term series, but sometimes, a short-term event catches my attention.

Sometimes, I can hold my head high. I’m looking at you, True Detective — you were (mostly) smart and well-written.

And then sometimes, oh the shame… I don’t want to look, I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it. A few Sundays ago, that’s exactly what happened. I perused the channels and landed somewhere I never expected to linger: Lindsay on OWN. I watched every episode since. I live-tweeted the 2-hour finale yesterday.

Don’t judge. It’s unbecoming.

Lindsay sucked me in with the pure drama of the lack of drama — the unpacking! of all of those designer goods! in her new apartment!

Seriously, almost nothing happens in the 8 episodes of the “docu-series.” But I kept watching. My brain fought, as it does, this cotton brain candy. So I watched Lindsay as if it was an anthropological study. In between thoughts of “Something HAS to happen, right?” I became determined to learn… something.

What I Learned by Watching Lindsay on OWN

I’m glad I’m not a celebrity and/or an addict. Trying to kick drugs or alcohol sounds hard enough. I mean, it took me FOREVER to give up French Fries… OK, you caught me, I still eat them (back to the Betty Crocker Center). Trying to kick an addiction when you’re not used to boundaries and hearing the word ‘no’ seems more difficult than it needs to be.

Chasing what could be lost seems exhausting (as does making endless excuses) and makes one look somewhat desperate.

The real world and Hollywoodland are on different planets. Here on Earth, a non-celebrity would have used his or her last chance the third time of tardiness, not the millionth (…and counting).

If I had a hairstylist who styled my tresses when I was going out “in public,” I would hope that my hair looked more “did” than if I had done it myself. (The celebrity world can, too, be deep and shallow at the same time!)

I’ve seen documentaries that were amazing. This isn’t one of them. Why? The reluctant subject. The shooting/editing (though the production company did try to make the thousands of shots of the outside of her apartment interesting by showing the windows from the street below, from across the street, by turning the camera on an angle!). And maybe OWN shouldn’t venture into this arena (not quite Kardashian territory, but it’s a slippery slope, Oprah).

As the show ended (Lindsay has a movie to work on! Lindsay had a miscarriage? It was getting way too melodramatic… good thing there were only five minutes left when that bomb dropped), my brain felt like it was melting, like celluloid touching the projector’s bulb. After a good sleep, I hope it returns to its normal thinking self and forgives me for what I subjected it to.

Dear Brain: I’m sorry. I’ll read an extra book this week to make up for it, I promise.

5 thoughts on “Admitting my problem is the first step

  1. Robin says:

    I so feel your pain. I have a few reality shows that sucked me in and I’m not proud of it at all, lots of shame. The worst of it is several Real Housewives. I never thought it would suck me in but one day I watched it when nothing else was on and it was a marathon and now I actually watch the shows on purpose! The other shows are the 2 polygamist shows, it fascinates me a man on purpose having more than 1 wife. I don’t believe at ALL it’s about sex because 4-5 wives does not mean extra sex, in my book, it means way more trouble and being turned down a lot for sex. I do think, sometimes (Mr. Brown I’m talking to you) it’s about wanting to be the center of attention. I will say though, some of those wives look miserable.

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  2. Tara says:

    I haven’t gotten sucked into Real Housewives (thank goodness), and I’ve not heard of the polygamist shows you mentioned. Makes me wish that HBO show was still on… googling what it was called…. be right back… Big Love! Right. The actors on that show were awesome! The main character on that show struck me as a bit of a narcissist so……

    I sat through True Tori last night again. I was folding laundry and couldn’t change the channel (at least the first part of that sentence is absolutely completely true). And, I admit, I still watch Dance Moms sometimes. I love dance and got sucked in originally because those little girls are such good dancers already! I don’t like the drama and the yelling and name calling. So unnecessary. I’ve also watched Iyanla: Fix My Life, but Oprah says that’s OK cuz they’re helping people!

    If only Jeopardy! was on 24 hours a day……

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    1. Robin says:

      I will say I mostly hate watch Real Housewives because they just do the same shit over and over again and more than 1/2 of it is utterly fake. One of the women was so utterly insane it was exhausting to watch the show. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojeVJ6voaxU and by that video, that downplays how crazy this woman was.

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      1. Tara says:

        See, now that was entertaining! They should show every reality show like that! And I saw Bethenny. So THAT’S where she came from! I had no idea who she was, but I started seeing her all over.

        Like

      2. Robin says:

        She was the best part of all those shows, if more were like her the shows would be more enjoyable.

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