What do Ryan Seacrest pretending to be Dick Clark, fireworks going off in your neighborhood at 11:45 because apparently people can’t tell time, and Anderson Cooper giggling like a girl because Kathy Griffin made him laugh by saying something naughty on national TV have in common? Signs of the apocalypse? No, silly. It’s New Year’s!
In case you haven’t heard, it’s a new year. Happy New Year! 2014! That’s “twenty-fourteen,” not “two thousand and fourteen.” We didn’t say “one thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine.” Imagine Prince trying to sing that! Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s one thousand nine hundred ninety-nine! Yes, yes, he said two-thousand-zero-zero, but a) that’s not even correct and b) shut up.
A new year, just one digit up from the last one, but enough to make your head hurt when trying to figure out someone’s birth year if they’re older than 10 (I was told there would be no math).
For me, a new year is just an excuse to buy new calendars with cute pictures on them. Every day is a chance to start something new. So my resolution for 2014 is the same as every other year: to give up resolutions.
By the first day of the new year I will have already succeeded! Hurrah!
I have goals, but they aren’t specific to an annual list made on this holiday. I did take a brief moment to look back. I thought about things I was happy with from 2013, the things I would change or do differently (an extremely small tally there). OK, lookback complete.
In 2013, I laughed a LOT, but I think I would like to laugh even more (and I’d like to write funny more, like I used to). And so! I have given 2014 a theme: The Year O’ the Funny.
Laughter is big in my world, but I want to make it even more of a priority. So I will write more of the funny! I will surround myself with more of the funny people! I will take a comedy class… WHAT? Who said that? I will find ways to let others see more of my funny (really, the box elder bugs that somehow keep coming into the house, that simply won’t die because even they don’t believe it’s really Winter, shouldn’t be the only ones who know about my all-around-the-world accent skills and hilarious dance moves).
That is NOT a resolution (I hear you out there). It’s just a theme, a general goal to do more of what I normally do, especially in a more public way. That’s right… if, no, WHEN I do anything hilarious, I will share the tale (please promise to laugh near me, not at me). And if something hilarious happens to you, do tell. The more, the merrier, literally.
So enjoy the first day of the new year! Some in Philly will enjoy those parading men with feathers playing banjos and saxophones whilst wearing make-up. Everywhere else, people will point and laugh. Stop it — that’s not polite! Good luck remembering to write the right year on your checks… wait, does anybody write checks anymore?
I hope you have the smiley-est, happiest, and most laugh-filled year ever (I’ll do my best to help you with that last part). 😀